Go Away Forever

Go away forever, Love.

Don’t give me hopes

I’m going back to my world.

It’s hard to say goodbye every five years,

As bad as watching my five year old 

dying on me while I live on.

I can’t let go of her old photographs,

Boxes full of memory and her little socks.

Cockroaches make themselves at home

With love letters,

Followed by spiders and lizards in search of food.

They move from one address to the next,

With closet full of out of fashion clothes,

Books and words of wisdom occupying wall space,

Growing as old as mother’s classic jewelry

In fashion again and again.   

And as proud as I feel they belong to me now

One winter at midnight,

I invite myself at a burial ceremony

Under blankets on a frozen bed with a hot cup of tea,

Music on the background,

No intention of getting up early,

Chocolates and snacks unlimited for free.

A phone call interrupts,

I'm back again to that memory lane,

Another crawl and fight on the way up

To see and believe it’s no longer there.

The dead remains unburied,

Food for vultures, hyenas, rats, slimy bugs, cockroaches, spiders, lizards.

It  gets better everyday.

Phone calls distract less.

The body parts are dismembered with help from the scavengers,

They are buried each day

One at a time, 

I'll get them all soon

Until they never grow back.

Don’t pick up my calls.

If you won’t live with me

Don’t love me back.

I’ll be fine in my world.  

January 13, 2011